Anxiety and depression.

 14.02.2014.

What is anxiety and depression?

I don't like calling them a 'mental illness' even though that is what they are. Anxiety is a feeling where you worry an extreme amount.. even if you're going out for the day.. It makes you feel really nervous and it makes you over think even to the extent where you start thinking things that aren't even true. You start to have 'panic attacks' which is where you start to panic that much you start shaking, sweating and experience breathing problems which can be an extremely scary experience for you, and those around you. Depression is a feeling where you just feel empty and all alone even if they are people around you. You can even get symptoms where you stop eating or you start to have insomnia or you begin to sleep too much. You start to spend most of your day crying and just feeling extremely down. There are a lot of different symptoms for these and many more.. It certainly affects people in many different ways.

Anxiety and depression is something that I've always suffered with through my life and I think it is something that isn't taken seriously enough. I know that I am one of many that suffer from these and it really does affect your life an extreme amount.. even if you don't have severe anxiety and depression it can make life really difficult for you and it can be even worse if people don't understand how you feel.

My anxiety started when I always felt extremely nervous with even the most normal day to day things and some times I just couldn't cope with things and I'd make any excuse just to stay in and get away from it all because staying in was where I was most happy and felt most comfortable. It was worst in public places or around people that I didn't know.. I'd start to feel extremely panicky and I'd just automatically feel like I didn't fit in, even if that wasn't the case and it was all 'in my mind.. Then it began to get worse and worse and I realised that this wasn't a normal thing, but I felt so weird telling people about it that I tried to keep it all to myself and that didn't help at all. 

Depression can mean so many different things.. It's when you feel empty in side and every-day is just effort and there is nothing at all that can make you happy. I first realised I had this last year (2013) and it was such a hard thing to deal with.. Nobody understood how I felt and I didn't really know who to turn to, so I tried to deal with it all on my own. Leaving college and finding it extremely hard to find a job made things difficult for me and then an extreme hard break up where the boy liked somebody else just started it all off and because it all happened at once I just hit rock bottom, after a while I just couldn't cope any more. I stopped eating, and sleeping was so hard at night and it actually got to the point where I thought.. Do I want to live any more? Because I really didn't see any way out of how I felt. Going to the doctors was also a complete waste of time.. I got told to ring this number and they said I'd have an 'over the phone' appointment with some woman in around 2 months time.. for somebody who has depression hearing that you are going to talk to somebody in 2 months time does not help in any way at all and it was completely useless. When the woman actually did ring she asked me a few questions like "what starts your depression" and absolute pointless stuff that was no help at all. Then I was told I'd have an appointment to see a counsellor in a month or two. At first I thought wow, I am going to see a counsellor... I can't tell anybody about this because people will think I'm such a weird person etc so I kept it all to myself (even from my parents who had no clue about this) the only person that knew about it was a friend who I spoke to at the time. It was such a horrible experience for me, every day was such a drag and I'd feel so empty inside and every minute felt like an hour. But I can tell you now.. it doesn't have to be forever, you can get over it, all it takes is time. 

If you know somebody that suffers from anxiety or depression:

Be patient with them, don't get angry with them!!! Don't just say "oh cheer up" or "it will be alright" and expect them to feel 10000x better because that won't work. You need to sit them down and talk to them.. If they are having an anxiety attack give them water and don't over-load them with questions.. Just sit them down in a quiet place until they feel better again. If you are close to somebody who is suffering with depression or anxiety then it may be a good idea to do some research. Try and understand what they are and what can be done to help them. Remember to give them time, these things don't just go away over night and can be really difficult to over-come so the key thing is being patient. 

What to do if you have anxiety/anxiety attacks?

Take it step by step.. Think about what starts your anxiety off. If you get anxious about going out on your own.. Take short trips alone such as going to the shop or just for a quiet walk around the park, if you start to feel nervous stop and take a few deep breaths and think to yourself that you can do it and that nothing bad is going to happen to you. It can be a hard thing to control so don't feel angry if you feel as though you can't do it. Whenever you feel like you are panicking.. just take a few moments to breath and tell your self that you are going to be alright and do something to take your mind of it. Take a drink of water with you. In the end, things will get better and you will be able to control it! 

What to do if you have depression?

Never ever ever give up. You never know what the future may be like and things will get better for you! Keeping busy is a really good thing to do.. Go out with your friends as much as you can.. If that isn't possible take walk at the park and listen to some music. Start a new hobby or join a gym, read a book or do a new college course. Don't sit at home and think about everything because that will make it worse! Never be too hard on your self, these things take time to get over but you will do it eventually. Think of the future and write down things that you would like to achieve in life and think of ways to get success. Talk to people about it, don't be ashamed.. It is a common thing and happens to a lot of people and you aren't a bad person if you suffer with this. Family and friends will always be there for you because they love you.. Try and make them understand how you feel because you will feel so much better when you feel like you can talk to somebody about it.

If you ever feel down or upset and have nobody to talk too I always am available to talk to any of you. Please tweet me my username is @amieylaureenx you never should feel alone.